The Big Fella

I awoke bolt upright at 4:30 am on Saturday morning, convinced that I had heard my youngest son, Kian, shouting out. When I checked on him, he was sleeping like the proverbial baby that he is. I could not get back to sleep, tossing and turning, until I finally got up with the boys around 7 o'clock. When I got downstairs there was text message on my mobile, informing me that my good friend, Martin, had passed away peacefully in his sleep during the early hours of Saturday morning. He had been battling with his illness for over 5 years and throughout this time he continued to be the same funny, warm and larger than life character he had always been. He never once affected the "Poor Me" expression , but, instead, carried himself with both dignity and grace and a genuine lust for life.

When I saw him last, just prior to Christmas, he looked fantastic and was still to be found mercilessly ripping the piss out of all and sundry. It was a hard day, everyone present that afternoon knew that it was probably the last time they would see him alive. As the evening drew in, he quickly became tired and it was if all his strength had disappeared in an instant. As we waited outside for his wife to collect him, I gave the Big Fella a hug and told him that I loved him and quickly made some stupid joke about him not forgetting to let me know when he was dead. He disappeared into the cold sea air of Dover and, on our return to the bar, the room had lost all of it's warmth. We all quickly went our separate ways, vowing to keep in touch. That evening, I made the long journey back to London with a very heavy heart.

I don't believe in all that beyond the grave, Derek Acorah claptrap, but, it did make me wonder why I had woken up so early that morning. As I sat at the bottom of the stairs, scrolling through the contacts on my mobile phone and sending text messages to friends and colleagues of Martin's, I came across his mobile number and almost included him on the send-to list. He was, and, still is, very much alive in my head. I will miss him greatly and there is a rather large hole in my little world today.

Rest in Peace, Big Fella x