If you build it, they will come...

Did you miss me while I was away? Did you hang my picture on your wall?
Ok, probably not the best lyrics to resurrect the Blog with, but, hey! the '70's were good to me.

So, here's what I 've been up to: Became a Promoter, played my first proper Solo show in 8 years and sang on stage with Mr Jim Boggia.

Last Tuesday night, I put on an evening of Food and Music at the King Eddie in Stratford. I had always thought that the upstairs room at the "Eddie" was the perfect space for this kind of event ever since I played an open mic night there back in January. It just so happened that my stateside chum, Jim Boggia, was embarking on a tour of Europe and looking for "House Concert" style gigs. So, in a huge "let's put aside all this low self esteem and lack of confidence, Son" moment, I mailed him and told him of my thoughts on the King Eddie. "Go for it" came the reply. I then set about pulling together the arrangements for the evening: who would want to go? would they show up? would Jim and I be eating Gourmet food for the rest of the fall? would I choke? should I fake my Orgasms? Did I say that last one out loud? Sorry...

Well, in truth, the night was a fantastic success, with 29 heads chowing down for the dinner and a further 20 odd folks coming along for the music. From the moment I started my set, it just felt right and all those nerves and worries melted away. Here I was, in front of 50 plus folks, singing a bunch of songs which had taken me a lifetime and one year to write and finally realising that its' only gonna happen if you make it happen. It's hard to describe the rest of the night really, as I just closed my eyes and lost myself in what I can only describe as "the moment I 've been waiting for all my life". Without sounding like a born again christian ("No' I'm Brian!"), it was probably the most spiritual moment I have ever encountered. Before I knew it, I was duetting with Jim on The Faces "ooh la la"(a song I used to sing to my son as a nursery rhyme) and actually dedicating it to my Son who was in the audience. No.1 Son is a massive Jim Boggia fan and, for the rest of my days, I will remember his face lighting up as he watched Jim singing with his dad.

As the evening progressed, my friend Jim absolutely blew the crowd away with his set and took the night home with great style and aplomb. Everybody left with a smile on their face and maybe a Boggia cd or two in their pocket, as well. And, as for me, well, let's just say that for the first time ever, I didn't feel out of place on the bill.

It's good to be back...

Dear Diary

Looking through some old boxes in the cellar, I came across an old notebook that I had used as a diary, come ideas sketch pad throughout my travels around this island, Earth. I must have gone through one of my "Year Zero" phases at some stage, as there are only two entries left in it, the rest obviously having been dispatched to various waste bins around the globe. Only one of the remaining items is a complete piece, the other being two lines for a song which never made it out of the starting blocks. So, here below, in all it's glory, are my random thoughts and observations made during a trip to New York, Circa 2000, and will give you a glimpse of exactly where my head was at, back then (Man! ~ Counter Culture Ed.).

"There are times when you realise this was not meant to be your day. The street you walk down singles you out as clearly as if you had a neon sign on your head saying "I do not live here, but, I am desperately trying to blend into the background".


"On West 18th Street, a construction worker is wearing exactly the same T-shirt as you. The same T-shirt that you bought last year and thought that you looked so cool in. These are warnings. These are signs that you no longer exude the coolness that comes so naturally, even automatically, with youth. Old passport photos are like sharp sticks prodding your, now plump, body, reminding you that the chances of ever looking that good again are very slim, indeed".


"There are days when you look around and there is not a single person nearby who knows anything about you".

"Sitting outside the Dakota building, thinking about Lennon and singing "In my Life" in your head. A stranger asks to borrow your pen and you feel the moment slip away, almost as if you had never even heard of four lads who shook the world. Then, you are swallowed up in the ceaseless throng of traffic and honking cabs and cold, emotionless faces behind dirty windscreens". Sanitation" reads the sign on the truck, but, you can't help feeling that a little "Salvation" wouldn't go amiss here?"


"The pretty girl on the mobile phone has a smile that can surely travel through the airwaves and, just for a second, you wish that it was you on the other end of the line. Happiness is a Warm Phone".


Obviously, my old pal, low self esteem, was along for ride on that trip. Going forward, the little shit can book his own damn flight...

Back in the Saddle again

After spending far, far too long in a covers band, I finally hit the stage as a solo performer on Thursday night. It is actually 8 years since I last performed as me and not some watered down, hiding behind other peoples songs, version of me. Okay, so it was only a slot at an Open Mic night, but, I played 2 of my new songs and they went down really well. At one point I swear I even saw some people stop talking during the second song and actually start listening, nodding their heads approvingly! It was a slightly bittersweet moment for me, as that very afternoon I had heard the news that the Great John Martyn had very sadly passed away. When I first heard "Solid Air" it was almost like an epiphany - you could play acoustic guitar and sing about love, hurt and death, without it turning into some dire blues cul- de - sac. I also loved the fact that here was this Oxymoron who sang like a wounded angel, but, was just as happy knocking back bucket loads of the black stuff and, then, getting into the boxing ring with his bass player, Danny Thompson, with only one thing on his mind - to smash the living shite out of Danny. Watching a recent documentary on the Big Man, it was quite startling to see him morph from the cherubic Folkie of his early years into the Colossus of later years. Two things remained constant, his utter lack of interest in the business and it's futile attempts to pigeonhole him, and his heartbreaking voice, which in later years had transformed into an almost drunken, slurring, jazz instrument all of it's own. I dedicated my second song to him and saw the that look in a few people's eyes around the room, who recognised the man's immense talent. And while some of those people were indeed "Old Heads", there were also a few of the younger members of the audience who knew of him as well. He always was one of our best kept secrets.

At the end of a very busy night where the performers ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous, I was buoyed by the sense of self belief in some of those people who, although their ambition far outweighed their talent, were clearly having a whale of a time and really going for it. A good time was had by all and, at the end of the night, I got chatting to one of my fellow artists who made some very kind remarks on my performance. As I was about to bid my farewells, she asked me why it had been 8 years since my last show. I did not have a real answer, I mumbled something about raising children, but, in all honesty there was no reason, other the fact that it is rooted within the struggle I have had for the last 25 years - do people actually like me?


Now, I realise that I am venturing into the realms of Psycho therapy cue cards, but, this latest musical venture had very little to do with Music. It was more to do with my crushing lack of Confidence and Self Belief, which then leads to Low Self Esteem - a most unholy trilogy. The much lamented, "Northern Exposure" TV show, once carried off almost half a series with a vertically challenged (in your face, P.C. brigade) character who was actually Ed Chigiak's low self esteem brought to life. Once Ed had realised that this condition was actually affecting his life, the scene ends with little guy, tail between his legs, wandering off into the woods. Now, I am not saying that I actually saw my little guy trundling off towards the exit of the Pub on Thursday night, following my performance, but, it did look an awful lot like he was searching for his coat.


Peas and Fluff

Mick